How to take control back from social media
- hopenetofcarp
- Aug 9
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 10
By Aaron Foster.
Editor’s Note: Part 4 of 5. This Viewpoint was submitted by HopeNet of Carpinteria, a local grassroots suicide prevention non-profit, for Mental Health May.
Imagine being a 16-year-old kid who’s trying to get into better shape. The first place a person might go is TikTok for workouts, where everybody seemingly looks perfect. Even after prioritizing fitness, they look nothing like everyone else online. The kid wonders why they aren’t at the “normal” level of fitness despite their hard work, and feelings of defeat and guilt creep in.
Constant comparison to others online leads to anxiety about being behind what others appear to be doing, trapping people in a vicious cycle of self-doubt. We’ll explore how people gain this perspective, the impact of consuming this content excessively, and how we can fix the issue.
Social media is designed to be as addictive as possible. A study from MIT found that “posts with high-arousal (emotions) were shared 34% more rapidly than other content.” Users are repeatedly watching the most jaw-dropping videos that are tailored to them.
Frequently watching this type of content compels people to think about it more, even subconsciously. When users see a high-volume of the same content, they begin to see it as normal even though it is only the most emotional content being shown. Everyday people who have a more realistic lens on their life aren’t shown that content much because it isn’t as engaging to watch.
Emotional content causes people to compare themselves because it activates the limbic system, an involuntary system that regulates our emotions. People don’t get to see the work that is put behind the scenes or the tactics that are used to alter videos such as editing or filters to make them more engaging.
Bringing out these emotions repeatedly and in an unregulated fashion can have detrimental side effects. This may bring out feelings of being behind, missing out, guilt, self-doubt, jealousy, stemming from constant comparison. Being online gives someone infinitely more people to compare themselves to others who appear to be wildly more successful than them as opposed to real interactions and relationships with normal people.
This hits especially hard for Gen Zers who have grown up on social media and haven’t had enough experiences in their lives to realize how unrealistic some influencers are. According to a 2024 survey from Deloitte, “Gen Z believes they need $200,000 dollars a year to feel financially secure, compared to only $110,000 from millennials.” This shows Gen Z has higher standards for success, likely attributed to consuming this type of content.
Pretend you’re back in your first relationship, except instead of learning how things work as you go, you and your partner are bombarded with content about what gifts to buy and arbitrary rules you need to follow. This often is presented in a very exaggerated context by people that supposedly have more experience in relationships. Unrealistic expectations of what a relationship looks like strain what would be a healthy relationship without social media.
These problems can be daunting and aren’t going away, but working together to help ourselves and our community can shift our perspective towards social media. Limiting time on social media and following authentic creators who give a more realistic view into their lives can drastically reduce anxiety caused by social media. Practicing gratitude and positive reflection on our lives can remind us of all of the positives in our lives and drown out negativity in a healthy way. Being a supportive person and seeking out support from others allows for you and the community to grow and learn together. If you feel anxious or depressed or not well, it is ok to reach out to those who care about you; they are here to help.
Aaron Foster is a high school senior and HopeNet of Carpinteria board member.
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